Before learning this week I had heard of the term ‘Love Map’ before, but I
never really knew anything else beyond that. I learned what a Love Map
is and that to Dr. Gottman it is the “term for [the] part of [the] brain
where [one stores] the relevant information about [their] partner’s
life.” I love the way Dr. Gottman explains his terminology. Through
looking back on my parents’ marriage and the beginning stages of my
marriage, I can slowly start to appreciate how much of our happiness
relies on how much we know about our spouses.
From the section
principle entitled “Nurturing Your Fondness and Admiration” Dr. Gottman
answered a question that I had from the leaning about the Four Horsemen.
I wondered “what could help couples with eradicating contempt from
their marriage?” the answer became clear in this weeks reading. “The
couples need to learn how to love, appreciate, and honor their spouse.” I
never really realized before how important it is to let our spouses
know that we admire them and are proud of their accomplishments.
I
actually had an experience last night where I had to stay home while my
husband went to the campus for a meeting to form a new society or group
here on campus. He was so nervous about whether enough people would come
or be interested. While I was finishing up homework he rushed into the home to
tell me how their meeting was a great success and that they are one big
step closer to getting the society started. He was so happy and I was
able to convey my feelings of admiration and pride in his
accomplishments. After telling me more about the meeting I could feel a
deep connection with him as I felt and expressed genuine excitement with
him.
Even from one small experience I can feel personally how important it is to love, appreciate, and honor our spouses.
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