This week we learned about a concept called the four horsemen in my marriage class. This is definitely something that I have come to appreciate learning about. Basically that are four types of negativity that creep into a marriage and stomp over the relationship until it dies.
They are as follows:
1. Criticism - Complaining specifically about your spouses personality or character.
2. Contempt - Hostile words or behavior towards your spouse. (ex: sarcasm, mocking, eye-rolling, name calling) This is the worst and most damaging of the horsemen.
3. Defensiveness - Defending oneself to their partner as a way of putting the blame on the other.
4. Stonewalling - Intentionally ignoring or drawing back emotionally, physically, and mentally from one's spouse.
I challenge you to understand and remember these types of negativity. Over the next week take a tally of the ones you see in your marriage. Then take action to reverse and stop them. I promise that you can feel more love and connection between you and your spouse.
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